Within the grips of a demon

Depression- Noun- A mood disorder characterised by a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest in activities, significantly affecting how a person feels.

Causes: Genetics, brain chemistry, stress, trauma and personal traits

Who would have thought this bubbly 17 year old would slowly turn into a former shadow of her self. Grief, trauma, illness, heartbreak… Taking part of my happiness without my permission or knowledge. One handful at a time, never stopping. Day and night.

This is not a sob story but a story of dealing with depression in every stage of my life. Through the happiest days to the darkest days. It has always been beside of me. Hopefully my story helps anyone else who is going through some sort of depression. 

My 2 brothers and I were brought up by two of the most amazing, selfless,hard working, kind and caring parents. We weren’t wealthy but my folks did their best to make sure we had the essentials and never missed a civvies day, cake sale or school trip. (Even if we didn’t want to go!) 

We were all so happy and loved being just the 5 of us. We used to watch Rex play cricket each Saturday afternoon. Nick and I his little cheer leaders. Loaded with our blue and white juice flask and some yummy sandwiches and maybe R5 for some sweets. Off we went. The proudest family there.

At 18 I was already on my first course of antidepressants. Barely a few months after my oldest brother was tragically taken from us in a car accident. Something that no amount of antidepressants would take away that pain and loss. Something that changed my life path onto a new road. Paving my future of depression.





At 22 I was diagnosed with a rare liver disease which almost killed me. It was so rare no GP had ever seen a person with it ever. It was ok. We caught it in time. Chronic meds for life but hey I was alive, even if I didn’t feel it. With a liver disease drinking alcohol and smoking are part of the no- no group.

Jumping along to when I was 25. I ended my marriage to my first husband after only a year and 4 months. He was not a bad guy, just not my guy. Looking back I masked a lot of my feelings with alcohol, gambling and smoking. I wasn’t big into the gambling but played the machines a lot more than I could afford. We drank every day and smoked a box of cigarettes in a day and a half. I hid this from my family as I knew they would be disappointed in me, but to be honest I am sure they knew. I lost who I was therefore I thought I had lost my depression. Nothing a smoke and drink couldn’t fix. Then my (by this stage we were engaged) fiance had his boys nights and came home at 3am the one morning absolutely sozzled. He had turned his phone off and wasn’t worried about leaving me alone at home with no idea where he was. It was this day I called off my engagement for the first time. After promises and apologies I forgave him. It made me feel better knowing I had a forever person. I had comfort and no depression.

Sadly, his family never accepted me as part of theirs so after time the loneliness crept in. My family were in Pietermaritzburg and we were in Pinetown a mere 30 minutes drive yet it felt like oceans and mountains separated us. I filed for divorce just after a year of marriage.

With no more distractions and now a new grief I had to tackle. A 26 year old with a liver disease who couldn’t have children was now a ‘Divorced 26 year old with a liver disease who couldn’t have children

After another broken heart and more tears of self pity and desperation I met Warren…..

As wonderful as this man is he couldn’t take away my deepest demons. The fighters inside my soul. They were just hiding waiting to jump at the first sign of trauma. Waiting in the depths of my most inner feelings. Stalking, waiting to check in again.

Finally on an August evening in 2023 Mr Darkness came out to play. After a neighbour who was high on drugs and alcohol decided to attack my husband and throw garden refuse in our driveway.This was the first of 2 attacks this guy put towards my husband and I. He started threatening our landlord and it got very ugly.

This coupled with an ex wife (Warrens ex wife) who dislikes us more than anything- hurling abuse and turning the kids against us got my internal demons excited. I could almost feel the gurgling of them coming up and stretching towards the sunlight. “Hello Darkness my old friend…..You’ve come to talk to me again…’

Not long after these ‘episodes’ I went back on the antidepressants. With a protection order against our neighbour and a slimmed down relationship with my husband’s ex life started to be happy again.

Enter July 2024….. The demons had not yet given up their grip on me. Digging their claws in deeper after spending majority of the end of 2024 and beginning of 2025 in hospital and ICU. Finally by July 2025 lift was beginning to look good again.

…Or so I thought … All of a sudden the panic attacks started, the heart palpitations began. I could feel myself spiralling. Down, down, down I could feel myself go. No interest if life, constantly clock watching like it’s the end of the fucking world.

I am lucky. I have the support party of a Queen and the love of an entire world army, yet nothing can protect me from these dark moments. Watching like it’s an out of body experience and no amount of grabbing, crying, screaming or anything can stop this train wreck from happening.

It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are from depression will find you if you are their intended target. All you can do is keep your mind busy- which is not as easy as it seems- and try be positive. (Okay you are surely laughing at me for that comment! Being positive in this situation is like wanting to take your hand off a burning plate but are unable too as it is super glued to the plate. no matter how hard you pull) Speak to people take your medication and always, always ask for help.

Alcohol, cigarettes and gambling definitely do not help depression in the long run they just numb the present and make the future miserable. The past will always be there, but it is up to us to make the difference for our future. There is nothing wrong with taking antidepressants. I’ve learnt that it’s not an embarrassment or anything to be ashamed of. There are many,many more people than you realise who takes them.

Let’s work together to release ourselves from the demons within us one step at a time.

If you are feeling any of the below please go and get help. You are not alone. You are loved even if you don’t feel it. You are worth it!

Feelings of

Uselessness

Anxiety

Lonliness

Loss of interest in life and activities

Fatigue

Worthlessness

Immense sadness

Scared of the present

The Art of being positive

It is so easy to wake up in the morning and groan that you don’t want to go to work or school, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, there is going to be too much traffic, and so on and so on you get the point.

From now let’s start thinking differently. Wake up with a smile on your face, be grateful you have a job or school to go too, that you have the sensors in your body able to detect different temperatures and take the scenic route and enjoy a little bit of traffic so you can sit back and take the beauty of your surrounds in.

I am one of those people that believes in ‘ don’t stress about the things you can’t change and rather concentrate on the things you can change.’ When you shout and hoot at another driver or flick them the bird, who does it affect more? You or the other driver? By the time you drive off I personally predict that most of the other drivers have forgotten their “wrong doing” yet you still are going on about them driving to slowly or doing that illegal U-turn. That negativity will stick with you for a lot longer.

Our neighbourhood is experiencing a huge power outage causing many fridges/freezers to defrost. I personally woke up going “shit not again” The water from the freezer had gone all down our passage into our bedroom. Really not ideal. I got up and went to investigate. Assessed the situation and thought ” I actually wanted to defrost the freezer (I absolutely hate doing it), so yay it all got done for me and I just need to clean the floor!”

So many things influence our daily lives and set our emotions into action. It’s how we as humans deal with it that is the test. In our household, we are not the perfect house trust me, we have realised positivity breeds positivity and negativity breeds negativity. Try looking on the bright side of life and ” Don’t sweat the small stuff” Yes there are times when we become negative but we just need to learn how to deal with it.

When someone insults you or your loved one, your reaction determines what your character is. Is it something that will change your life now, in 5 years, 10 years or further on? Does it have the power to ruin your day? If the answer is no then let it slide. Out on your big girl panties and flash a smile and walk on. What you do after you have walked on is up to you but the person that hurt you will not know the wiser. It saves your saying anything back and maybe saying something you regret. If this insult will affect you in the next few years, take a break, breathe and try be calm. You will notice you won’t be half as negative as you were before.

I challenge you, yes you the one reading this post to share in the positivity. Share a smile to the lady on the street. Tell someone they look beautiful or handsome, and just be positive! This world will be a better place.

Fun at Flag Animal Farm

Everyone knows about Flag Animal Farm in Sheffield. Gen and her team welcome you to their “home” with open arms and smiles on their faces.

I am not sure if everyone knows this or not but all those animals are rescues. From the rabbits to the cows and everything in between.

We are lucky enough to call Gen and Cam friends. Actually more then just friends. They are family. Warren has been taking the boys there since they were very small even having their parties there.

Warren was called there recently to help deliver Chelsea Moo’s calf- now known as Wa Moo. Every thing that is done at the farm is for the animals best interest.

Last week I took my brother, sister in law and 15month old nephew to go visit Flag for the first time. To say my nephew was in his element would be an understatement. He made friends with a friendly goat who followed him everywhere, a rabbit who loved his treats, Chelsea ( momma cow), a few horses, pigs, birds, sheep, held a guinea pig and patted some horses. Every animal got him more excited.

Nick and Kate enjoyed their coffee bought in the coffee shop on site and enjoyed the animals just as much as my nephew.

They have the most amazing water slide area but unfortunately due to Covid level 4 they can’t open that just yet. You can bring a picnic or even braai and spend the day there. For anyone wanting to just chill there is a lovely coffee shop that sells yummy light snacks.

During the day they also have interaction with wolves and milking cow shows as well as a reptile show. There are tractor rides and horse rides for the brave kiddies.

Entrance is R55 and entry to the water park is R20 for the whole day!

Please if you have not been to Flag please make a plan to go and visit. You too will leave feeling part of the family.

Thank you Gen, Cam and the whole of Flag for the wonderful memories we have shared there. You guys are amazing and we are thankful for everything you do.

I lost a sibling….and it sucks

6th September 2003 the day that changed our lives forever. I was 17 years old and my younger brother had turned 15 the day before.

It started like any normal Saturday morning. My parents were at work, Nick was playing sport and I was at home. It was just passed 10:30am Rex came home to get some shade cloth. He and his girlfriend Claire had just moved into their first flat together and their fridge was on the balcony in the direct sun, so Rex was putting the shade cloth up to protect the fridge. Crawling by Linkin Park was playing on MTV. That was his favourite song at the time. He was busy on the back verandah cutting and measuring. When he was done we had a brief chat about plans for the weekend etc. When it was time to go he hugged me and said “Goodbye Sis, Love you lots and see you later” Those were the last words he ever spoke to me…

That evening I had gone to movies with a friend, Nick was at the Epworth Social and my folks were relaxing at home after a busy week at work. Five minutes after I got home the phone rang. It was Claire. “Hello Amy speaking” I answered the phone. “Amy, please can I speak to your mom” came Claire’s broken voice over the phone. “Is Rex ok? Where is he?” My mom asked. Something was very wrong.

“There has been an accident and Rex is badly hurt” my mom told my dad and I.

Mom and dad rushed and went to medi clinic hospital. There was no Rex. Eventually he was found at Grey’s Hospital. He was “Alive but critical” my dad told me over the phone. I had stayed at home to be with my almost 90 year old Granny and to try and Nick back home.

My friend Paul lived down the road from us. I gave him a call and explained our situation. Without hesitation he jumped in the car and went to fetch Nick from Epworth. Nick, however wasn’t too keen on getting in a car with no previous arrangements were made.

With Nick, finally back home I told him the news. Heartbroken and scared we hugged and cried. Was this really happening to us? What had we done so wrong to go through such hell?

Family started arriving and we went to spend time with my gran. Joy got a phone call from Keith “Get Amy and Nick to the hospital immediately” Keith directed. We knew what this meant. Trying to be the stronger sister, Nick and I climbed into the back of Joys car.

Waiting outside at the hospital was my dad. As we got out the car my dad embraced Nick and I. “Rexy is gone” came out of my dad’s mouth as he broke down. My life paused. 5, 6,7 seconds went by before I realised what he had said.

Slowly the three of us walked into the casualty ward. Sobbing. There my mom was sitting at his bed holding Rexy’s hand talking to him. I touched his arm. He was still warm. We got there at 21:15. He passed away at 21:10. I kissed his hand and told him how much I loved him, then I walked out. I couldn’t bare being there. My whole family was broken and there was nothing I could do. Family was arriving at the hospital. Too many for me to remember them all. We will forever be grateful for everyone who supported us through the following weeks.

Taken too soon by an irresponsible driver under the influence.

That is my story on how our lives changed. I have never felt a pain like that in my life. A hole. The loss of a sibling. The loss of a child for my parents. The loss of a role model. Someone who I wanted to be like when I grew up.

I still cry every birthday, reunion or big moment in my life. I talk about him as if he is still alive. We have videos we still watch, pictures. I love people telling me what a legend he was. Tayne and Landon know of their uncle Rex.

Please if you knew Rex and are reading this, please don’t be afraid to talk to us and reminisce. Rex is gone but never forgotten.

I will never feel the same pain as anyone else who is in a similar situation. Each relationship is different. Be sensitive but don’t be afraid to talk.

This post is dedicated to my family and anyone else out there who has lost a child, sibling, parent, spouse, cousin, aunty, uncle or grandparents.

Rex John Walker 1 September 1978- 6th September 2003. Forever in our hearts.

Rex John Walker

Life with an invisible disease

This is my story.For anyone who needs support or anyone who is compassionate enough to try understand this crazy ride we are on.

12 years ago I was the usual 22 year old. Going to clubs, spending time with my friends and family, going to dinners with friends. Living a normal happy life. Then it all changed. Im going to share my story with you. I don’t want pity. I just want to help anyone out there who needs help.

From a young age I suffered from migraines. The bad kind where your life basically comes to a stop. Visual disturbances, intense nausea and a headache you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Sleep and Nurofen were my best friends. It got so bad that I was getting these attacks almost every day! They ruined family moments that I had waited months for, school days were disturbed. Apart from interfereing with my education it interfered with my moms work day when she had to come fetch me from school. I still suffer these migraines but not as often.

2008 my life changed drastically. I went out to good old Crowded House on the Thursday night. I was not feeling great but hey a night on the town can fix anything… Except your head the next day. I woke up the next day as sick as a dog. Vomiting like no ones business. I didn’t drink THAAAT much to be so violently ill. That was the start of my nightmare….

The vomiting and extreme nausea would not go away. If I ate anything I was sick, I had a sip of water, I was sick. Apart from being so incredibly ill my stomach was swelling. At one point I looked like I was 7 months pregnant. How could I not be eating yet my stomach keeps growing? Something was very wrong.

Three months went by. Numerous tests conducted, ultra sounds done. Nothing. I must mention that during this time I was on “The Pill”. Not for any funny business but to regulate my periods. Many doctors visits and no answers. How devastating for a family literally watching their daughter/sister basically dying, and there is nothing they could do.

After some blood tests came back and showed signs it was my liver taking strain. I was referred to Dr Abrahams aka My Angel from Above. He did an ultrasound and was facinated at my liver. Yes, definately something was off with my liver. He suggested it could be a very rare liver disease called Budd Chiari Syndrome. He couldn’t say for certain as this disease only affected 1 in 2 million people or some figure similar to that. I remember saying to myself that “it would never happen to me” I went home and did what no one should EVER do. I googled this disease. Tears started pouring, my heart beat faster, my hands shaking faster and faster. The prognosis wasn’t good. 5% of people with BCS dont live longer then 5 years. I went into full blown panic mode. Was I dying? I called my mom in a state. She managed to calm me down and reminded me it was so rare the chances were very low that I would have this disease.

I was referred to a liver specialist in Durban. He checked my file and confirmed NOT BUDD CHIARI SYNDROME. I can carry on taking the pill and free to fly, as I was due to fly to Cape Town the next week for a long awaited visit to my sister and cousins. Relief.

During my stay in Cape Town I still felt terrible. Massive stomach and constant nausea. I started doubting this doctor. Something was still wrong.

On arriving back to Durban airport and getting ready for my drive home to Pietermaritzburg, my stomach was hurting. Not a cramp but a pain I cant really explain. The next day my mom booked me to go back to Kaufmann &Partners to see Dr Abrahams. Unfortunately he was off this day so was booked to see another doctor. Again, this doctor said no worries. Was I now becoming a hypochondriac?

A few days later Dr Abrahams contacted my mom. He was back and was interested in my illness. He called me back and then did a tummy tap (when they insert a massive needle straight into my stomach and take the fluid out to test) This was so traumatic and painful. My mom held my hand and cried with me. He then also sent me for CT scans to see what he could find.

Three weeks later we went to Botha House for my uncle Tony’s 60th Birthday party. Everyone was there. I stayed a while down stairs then decided to go lie down. I was feeling really bad. My skin had started turning yellow. Family members were coming to the room to literally say their goodbyes to me. Obviously I didnt know that at the time. Luckily for me, my 3rd cousin (My dads first cousin) Andrew knew a pathologist in Pietermaritzburg and contacted him urgently on Monday morning. He knew a liver specialist in Cape Town who he sent the results too.

CONFIRMED Budd Chiari Syndrome. My heart sank. I could feel the mood in the room instantly drop. I can’t remember what was said but my whole family and I were in tears. I was now a statistic.

Dr Abrahams was right. The one doctor who I prayed so hard that he was incorrect was indeed correct. I can’t remember who got the details for Professor Wendy Spearman in Cape Town. She heads up the liver department at Groote Schuur Hospital. World known for her knowledge of the liver and all its diseases. I knew I was in the right hands with Dr Abrahams and now Prof Spearman. I had a fighting chance.

When you book to see Professor Spearman there is no set time. She is situated at the Government side of Groote Schuur. Our first time there my mom and I got lost in the hospital but everyone was friendly and we eventually found the liver clinic. After waiting for a while we finally got to meet Prof. A normal lady with a heart so big. She immediatly sent me to the wards to get more tests done. My worst test was the oxygen in my blood. This test they took blood from an artery in my wrist. Painful does not discribe the pain I went through. All doctors and nurses were pleasant and helpful. I was booked in for what we thought was 10 days to two weeks! Luckily we managed to organise with Prof that we weren’t staying too far away and could come to the hospital everyday by 6am. Im not one to complain but a mixed ward with male and female patients made me feel a bit uncomfortable to be honest, and when you sick you only want your momma, don’t you?

After my time there we went back home to Pietermaritzburg. Rest was needed. I had been put on mulitple medications to thin my blood and get rid of the ascites that was in my abdomen. Prof also mentioned that there would be no reason why I couldn’t live longer then 5 years as we had found the problem in the nick of time and if I took my medication correctly. Some more hope in a dark time.

I had to go for blood test a few times a month to make sure the medication was working and to get this disease under control. What I found particularly interesting is that there are many causes for BCS. The one is the pill. Remember the one Doctor mentioned I could stay on the pill and fly? For those of you who are not sure BCS is a clot in your hepatic vein or Deep Vein Thrombosis. It is highly dangerous to fly with a DVT.

Jump ahead 3 years I married a guy who I thought was “The ONE” we decided to think about having babies. I have always ever wanted to be a mom. Children were always in my future plans. Unfortunately, due to the severity of my BCS children are a no no. I would have a 5% chance of survival if I fell pregnant. Was it worth the risk? At the young age of 24 I went for a tubal ligation. This is when they ties your tubes. An intense depression filled my life. My biggest wish and dream was no longer an option. I started questioning God. “Why me?” “If you really loved me why take away something so special and important to me?” Unfortunately, The One turned out not to be The One and we parted ways. Thats a story for another day.

A few years later I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. This is when your Thyroid is either under active or over active. The case for me is it was over active. I could eat all day and loose kg’s daily. Sounds great but my hormones were a little out of whack. I have never been a bitchy person but during that period of my life I was not a nice person. Especially to my family. I did things irrationally and did not think about the consequences. I knew I was hurting my family but I couldn’t control it. Once I had said something horrible I would burst out crying because I was just so mean. I belonged in a psychiatric ward somewhere far away. Due to my BCS options were limited to dealing with this crazy thyroid. Eventually we all agreed on radioactive iodine. Basically radiation. This ontop of my liver made me feel absolutely terrible. I could not go close to anyone, my throat burnt and once again, I was miserable.

Now 12 years later I am happy. My life is under control again and I can live my life once again. Obviously there are limits but I am Alive! I am now happily married to Warren. He has 2 boys from his first marriage. Tayne and Landon. To me this is the closest I will get to being a mom. To be honest, I love them as if they were my own.

Thank you for reading my story. It is hard having a disease that no one knows you have or understands. They call you lazy because you can’t get up and be active or clean the house or you constantly grumpy or feel terrible. Don’t worry you are not alone.You will get through this.

Side note: This is my story. Not all stories are the same. Support and try and understand anyone in this situation.

I would like to thank Dr Abrahams and Professor Spearman for saving me and not giving up the fight to get me here. Mom, Dad and Nick, thank you for loving me unconditionally and even when you can’t see it, help me when I am feeling down and out. Thank you for missing work and paying for the numerous flights to Cape Town and back. Spending money we didn’t really have. Lastly to my Wa. I love you and the boys more then you will ever know. You guys made me a mom.. You made my wish come true.

Flagz Road Grill and Take-Away

Tucked away in a lovely business park near the beach is a gem of a take-away restaurant. Owned by the husband and wife team Jacobus and Veronishka Slabbert is Flagz Road Grill and Take-Away.

They are know for their amazing variety of foods, such as calamari fold over (a personal favourite of mine), amazing fish and chips, burgers, vetkoek but to name a few. They also make divine milkshakes to compliment any taste buds.

Fish and chips

They have specials on for during the week with exceptionally reasonable prices and are well equiped with sanitizer and masks to make sure everyone is safe. Under the masks you can see the huge smiles on their faces when they greet you. Their genuine personalities light up the room as well as the aroma of their amazing foods. Jacobus and Veronishka make sure every customer leaves feeling like they are family.

Supporting local is made a whole lot easier when there is that personal connection. Flagz definately do their best to ensure just that. Please support this little piece of love in our Ballito.

You can find Flagz at 27 Sandra Road (next door to Sawagat) or call them on 072 789 3056. Go on, what are you going to have? *Closed on Sundays

Dagwood

Rocking the Globe

Table for 12… check, food…check, friends…check. Wahoo! We are ready to go!

On Saturday the 14th of November 2020 we drove to Suncoast Casino in Durban to watch Rocking the Globe. The excitement was boiling! Kids got dressed around lunch time to leave at 17:15.

We travelled with a friend and her daughter. Conversations never running dry in the car. Laughing and all sort of excitement coming from the back seats. After the last show just before lockdown, our expectations were very high.

Calvin (Night manager) and Jessica(General manager) were at the door waiting to help with a smiles on their face’s. After the routine hand sanitising, we were shown to our table. A15. We all sat and took out the food we had all brought. Cheese and biscuits, stuffed eggs, sausages, carrots, pickled onions, chips. You name it we probably had it.

After chatting for a while the show began! Adults and children alike went quiet and eyes opened wider.

We were greeted by our Captains for the around the world flight. The hilarious duo of Themba January and Kyle Mathews. They were brilliant.

Our Pilots for the night Themba January and Kyle Mathews

Themba January took our breathes away. His diversity and vocal range is excellent. From singing Bob Marley to Andrea Bocelli and anything in between.

Themba January

Fellow Captain Kyle Mathews is every bit an entertainer. His energy he shows on stage overflows to the crowd. He is not afraid to don a dress and wig while oozing sass.

Kyle Mathews

The only female in the vocals department Savanna De Beer gave the men a run for their money. Her version of one of Édith Piaf’s song was performed with emotion and gusto. For me personally, that was the best song of the show.

Savannah De Beer

The man who pulled off the likes of Bono, Brian Johnson and Jon Bon Jovi. Raymond Ray pulled off a rendition of Thunderstruck that only a handfull of people around the world could do! Almost as good as the original. Absolutely brilliant.

Raymond Ray

Those are the very talented vocalists for this show. We could feel the true passion and pride in every song.

The band from this show were fantastic. Together or solo. We have Callie Thomson on the keys, Bongane Sakhele on the bass, Dylan van der Linde on the drums, Barry Thomson on the guitar and Kirsty Madgin on saxaphone and penny whistle. They were all unbelievable! Together with the fantastic vocalists this show would not be what it is today. The combination of each crew member makes this show.

From start to finish we were clapping, tapping our toes, laughing and dancing. I loved the way the audience is part of the show. There is a little suprise in the England part of the trip. The kids thought it was the best as we all had tears running down our faces with absolute hysterics.

All in all, I highly reccomend this show. People of all ages would relate to the music and join in the fun! Our drive back home was filled with each person reliving their best part of the show.

For any booking enquiries please contact The Barnyard Theatre Suncoast Casino on 031 328 3000. They have amazing specials as well as all FNB clients earn Ebucks. Remember you are welcome to bring your eats but no drinks. You can also order divine pizza’s from the kitchen.

Please enjoy the show and drive responsibly. Show runs until the 30th December 2020

Lock down and a small business

Think about this… If lockdown is forcing big, corporate companies to close permanently, what is it doing to small, family owned businesses? Yet we see the likes of Woolworths, Checkers, Pick n Pay, Spar all open and running at full capacity putting smaller companies at risk of closing.

We own a small but well known garden service in Ballito. We have struggled in the last few weeks to make ends meet and it is not only us that need to survive but 7 other families relying on us for food. With no money coming in we have had to reproritize our lives to ensure we can survive.

Things like paying rent, school fees, insurances are all priveledges for the wealthier class. This is not a proud moment especially for a couple like us who pride ourselves on paying timeously.

Then it comes to permits. We are a sole proprieter company so therefore do not have registration papers for our company. This means….. We cannot get our CIPC forms, which ultimately means we cannot register for an essential service. This was until level 4. This changed for Sole Proprietors. They have made a list of a few jobs we can do IF WE HAVE A PERMIT. We are lucky enough to have 2 things we do on that list.

To get a permit you need to download the form 2 from the Government Gazette. Fill it out, write a letter on a letterhead stating your business, employee ID number, fact that you do this work. Print it out and with the Form 2 give it to each employee including yourself. Don’t forget to get certified copies of all ID’s. This pack needs to be kept on employee at all times.

Now, just because you have your permit, apparently does not allow you to work in just any estate. We were told that ( in the estate we live in and before lockdown serviced 40 gardens, most for the past 8 years!) There is already a contractor who removes garden refuse (ie Dolphin coast waste management) and they do not think we are an essential service. Yes, we do have a service provider from the municipality, However, they only remove garden refuse on a Monday and are resricted to 2 white bags. No black bags and no more then 2. Anyway that is an issue we are trying to sort out.

Personally, if you can support a local, small business, do it! We cannot afford to shut down. We have our families to look after as well as our employees.

Instead of eating at a big, fancy corporate restaurant, go to the small curry place down the road or family owned fish and chips place where the owners know you by name. Buy clothes from the ladies who are trying to save our planet, have your manicure, pedicure or facials etc done by a lady who makes you feel extremely special and welcome, your vegetables from the local lady who sells home grown fruit and veg, call the couple who depends on every snake call out to be a paid one- many are not unfortunately, or the garden service who have a small team but are dedicated to every service and landscaping job that they do.

Its times like these we have to stick together as a community. There is no place for people trying to out do one another. Its a time for helping where we can and being kind to our neighbours.

Did you know? Just over half of all small businesess are home based and small business fail due to lack of demand.

Here are some amazing small business to try out:

Call Warren 072 889 0663
Call Rich 083 282 7187
Call Preshen 032 586 1618
Call Helen 079 453 3557/ Neville 082 561 4969
Call Karen 064 379 5663
Call Mandy 083 256 0282

Dear South Africa

Dear South Africa,

As I sit and type we are almost finished day 2 of our National lockdown. Two days of not leaving our house, not having our freedom…

As many of you out there, we own our own company. This has been the most surreal time that most of us have lived through. The stress levels and uncertainty have exceeded any boundry in my life. How do we pay our staff? What happens if this lock down lasts longer then 21 days? How will the boys get between our house and their moms house? What are we going to do for 21 whole days?

This is where my plea comes in…. Please stay at home. Lets stick together and “Flatten the curve”. I live near a location and we can hear them carrying on like there is no worry. Do they not realise their companies can only pay them for so long before they can’t afford too or that the people with TB or HIV/ Aids will suffer the most. We are all at home doing our thing but it takes ALL of us to make a change.

Im sorry you cannot go for your daily run, walk your dogs or go and see friends. We all have to make sacrifices- Hell, I missed the birth of my nephew. A moment we had planned for 9 months, a moment I dreamt of my whole life. That has been taken away from me….. But its what had to be done.

If we don’t stick together and follow the strict orders we have been given, this may last a lot longer then 21 days. Yes, it can be as boring as anything or lonely as can be. I get that but if you have my number you are more then welcome to give me a call. I will always do my best to give support where I can.

Respect each other and remember there are still boundries. Respect your neighbour, respect your spouse, respect your children AND RESPECT THE GOVERNMENT! They would not have done this if there was no need. We have all been put out, but, by breaking the law, we have the potential to make this last a hellava lot longer then it should.

Keep well, stay at home and dont loose faith.

Amy xx

Being a stepmom

The best thing I have done as an adult is marry their dad. The day we said “I Do” was the day i became a mom. A step mom but a mom nonetheless.I came into their lives when they were small. Landon was 3 years old and Tayne was 6 years old.It was tough. I knew there were boundries and did not want to cross them! We immediatly had a connection. Although shy we had fun.Warren and I decided the best place to meet the boys was a neutral enviroment. Ushaka beach in Durban was the venue of choice. A day I will remember forever!The most important thing I needed to ensure was that their mom knew I wasn’t trying to take over and be “a new mom” to the boys. I was however, someone they could trust , and who loves them unconditionally too. An extra person to cheer them on from the side lines or hug them when they are feeling sad.It was never all roses and hunky dory all the time. There were times i’d lie on my bed crying because something inside them told them I was the reason mom and dad got divorced or “you are NOT my mom!” This is just an outlet for all their hurt and confusion and whatever you do…DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY!Tough as these times were, they are what made our relationship they way it is today. I would never change a thing. They know how loved they are and can trust me with anything.

Whats your super power?

Landon and I

Apart from their mom and dad I would like to think I am their biggest supporter. At every hockey match, soccer match, cricket match and parent evenings.I am definately not saying I am the best step- mom but I sure as hell am the best I can be. These boys are mine too and I have the privilege of loving them like a parent.

Tayne and I.

For anyone who may be a step parent or may soon be a step parent the only advice I can give you is to love this child with everything you have, support them and just be there for them. Thats all they need from us.Everyday I am greatful to be a step mom to Tayne and Landon.