I lost a sibling….and it sucks

6th September 2003 the day that changed our lives forever. I was 17 years old and my younger brother had turned 15 the day before.

It started like any normal Saturday morning. My parents were at work, Nick was playing sport and I was at home. It was just passed 10:30am Rex came home to get some shade cloth. He and his girlfriend Claire had just moved into their first flat together and their fridge was on the balcony in the direct sun, so Rex was putting the shade cloth up to protect the fridge. Crawling by Linkin Park was playing on MTV. That was his favourite song at the time. He was busy on the back verandah cutting and measuring. When he was done we had a brief chat about plans for the weekend etc. When it was time to go he hugged me and said “Goodbye Sis, Love you lots and see you later” Those were the last words he ever spoke to me…

That evening I had gone to movies with a friend, Nick was at the Epworth Social and my folks were relaxing at home after a busy week at work. Five minutes after I got home the phone rang. It was Claire. “Hello Amy speaking” I answered the phone. “Amy, please can I speak to your mom” came Claire’s broken voice over the phone. “Is Rex ok? Where is he?” My mom asked. Something was very wrong.

“There has been an accident and Rex is badly hurt” my mom told my dad and I.

Mom and dad rushed and went to medi clinic hospital. There was no Rex. Eventually he was found at Grey’s Hospital. He was “Alive but critical” my dad told me over the phone. I had stayed at home to be with my almost 90 year old Granny and to try and Nick back home.

My friend Paul lived down the road from us. I gave him a call and explained our situation. Without hesitation he jumped in the car and went to fetch Nick from Epworth. Nick, however wasn’t too keen on getting in a car with no previous arrangements were made.

With Nick, finally back home I told him the news. Heartbroken and scared we hugged and cried. Was this really happening to us? What had we done so wrong to go through such hell?

Family started arriving and we went to spend time with my gran. Joy got a phone call from Keith “Get Amy and Nick to the hospital immediately” Keith directed. We knew what this meant. Trying to be the stronger sister, Nick and I climbed into the back of Joys car.

Waiting outside at the hospital was my dad. As we got out the car my dad embraced Nick and I. “Rexy is gone” came out of my dad’s mouth as he broke down. My life paused. 5, 6,7 seconds went by before I realised what he had said.

Slowly the three of us walked into the casualty ward. Sobbing. There my mom was sitting at his bed holding Rexy’s hand talking to him. I touched his arm. He was still warm. We got there at 21:15. He passed away at 21:10. I kissed his hand and told him how much I loved him, then I walked out. I couldn’t bare being there. My whole family was broken and there was nothing I could do. Family was arriving at the hospital. Too many for me to remember them all. We will forever be grateful for everyone who supported us through the following weeks.

Taken too soon by an irresponsible driver under the influence.

That is my story on how our lives changed. I have never felt a pain like that in my life. A hole. The loss of a sibling. The loss of a child for my parents. The loss of a role model. Someone who I wanted to be like when I grew up.

I still cry every birthday, reunion or big moment in my life. I talk about him as if he is still alive. We have videos we still watch, pictures. I love people telling me what a legend he was. Tayne and Landon know of their uncle Rex.

Please if you knew Rex and are reading this, please don’t be afraid to talk to us and reminisce. Rex is gone but never forgotten.

I will never feel the same pain as anyone else who is in a similar situation. Each relationship is different. Be sensitive but don’t be afraid to talk.

This post is dedicated to my family and anyone else out there who has lost a child, sibling, parent, spouse, cousin, aunty, uncle or grandparents.

Rex John Walker 1 September 1978- 6th September 2003. Forever in our hearts.